The end of a serious relationship can cripple us emotionally. I am sure you, at some point in time, have been on the receiving end of ‘This just isn’t working’, or ‘It’s not you, it’s me’, or perhaps even ‘I don’t want to risk destroying our friendship’. There are definitely more stereotypical lines that are used by both sexes, but I hope these are enough to provide you with a sense of relatability.
Unfortunately, many of us never offer ourselves enough time to successfully bounce back from this debilitating news; we instead seek for a new potential partner – someone to infect. I say infect, I am using it in the context of emotional stability. Jumping into another relationship following the destruction of a previous one will likely result in false feelings; misplaced hunger for love will inevitably hurt you and probably the other person, too.
It is clear we wouldn’t be a hundred percent following the evaporation of something we were so heavily invested in. We just would not be able to give our best self to this new person, even though this is clearly what everyone deserves. That stands true regardless of who they are, and whoever they decide to be with. We would likely be inhibiting ourselves from moving forward, alongside preventing someone else from being happy.
Sometimes we can be so focused on our own self-indulgence that we forget about the needs of other people, regardless of how small they may appear at any particular time. If you are rushing into a relationship, keep in mind that it might be lust, rather than love. The two are incredibly similar in the early going. However, lust usually results in the hopping from person to person, trying to fill a void. This can be dangerous for multiple reasons.
So, what should we do instead? Give ourselves time. Give ourselves space. If we develop anxiety at the thought of being alone, it is likely an indication that we are too reliant on other people to develop our own personal happiness. You are responsible for your own happiness. If you expect others to make you happy, chances are you will always end up disappointed.
Don’t rush anything. When the time is right, it will happen.
Of course I am not suggesting that other people do not make us happy. Surrounding ourselves with great people is a direct cause of our happiness. However, please remember the following…
It’s not selfish to love yourself, to take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It is absolutely necessary.