Do not let our insecurities define us.

Insecurity is something that we all face. It is an inevitable part of life. Whether it is a physical or personality trait, it can be something that hinders us from progressing forward with our daily lives. It is inherent to the human condition.

To this end, I wanted to emphasise to my readers the commonality of insecurity and inhibition. To do this, I asked people of different ages and job descriptions to open up about their biggest insecurities, so I could accumulate their responses anonymously, before posting them here.

However, I feel it important to first open up about my own biggest insecurity. For as long as I can remember, I have had this intrinsic yet entirely irrational hatred towards myself. I am not entirely sure when it manifested, but it is something that I just cannot shake. I am 27 years old, and a post-doctoral neuroscience researcher.

Here are individual responses:

“I would say my biggest insecurity is my shyness, especially when meeting new people and starting conversations.”Age: 19, Profession: DJ.

“I think it’s the lack of being confident in the work I produce and being nervous about what people say about my work.  It’s mainly the confidence and uncertainty that play with my mind when it comes to work. Hence why I haven’t applied for bigger jobs or positions. It is a ‘am I good enough’ to push onwards and upwards.” – Age: 26, Profession: Graphic Designer.

“My biggest insecurity has always been other people’s perception of me. Whether that be friends, family or another professional.”
Age: 25, Profession: Clinical Animal Behaviourist. 

“I would say my greatest insecurity is “imposter syndrome” or the constant feeling I’m not actually capable of being where I am, and that I have deceived everyone into thinking I have, or it is chance.”
Age: 22, Profession: Trainee Accountant.

“I do not like my lips. It is where my eyes immediately go in every picture.”
Age: 26, Profession: Public Relations.

“My biggest insecurity is probably me not achieving enough. No matter how much I do in a day, I berate myself internally, telling myself that I could/should have done more. This is tied in with the constant desire to be productive, which can be harmful, as I know rationally that it’s important for our mental health to not be ‘productive’ all the time.”
Age: 27, Profession: Composer.

“I have body confidence issues.”Age: 37, Profession: DJ.

“I got good grades in school and university, but I am not sure I’ll ever do anything that makes a lasting positive impact on this world. I am also afraid that people doubt my intellect, either because of my gender, race or job. They do not hand out grades when you are an adult to prove you are smart, and my job does not actually require intellect.”
Age: 24, Profession: Advertising.

I would have to say that I am very insecure about whether people like me or not.” Age: 25, Profession: Lecturer in Bioscience. 

“I work in the beauty industry so I would say body image. I’m constantly around beautiful, almost perfect looking people. It can sometimes make me feel like I’m lacking something.”Age: 25, Profession: Aesthetician. 

“Whilst I have many insecurities, there are two main ones. My first is constantly suffering with my body dysmorphia, no matter what I do I’m never satisfied about how I am. Second, I always feel inadequate, again this is because of number one. It is a constant cycle.”
Age: 26, Profession: Warehouse Assistant.

“I am worried that I will go nowhere, and I won’t succeed in my chosen career and will not achieve my aim in life.”
Age: 24, Profession: Medical Systems Specialist. 

The commonality of insecurity within society is undeniable. It is important that we all communicate more openly about what inhibits us, as this may eventually help to set us free.

It is time to crucify the self critic.

Self-criticism. It can be one of the most disabling components of our psychological wellbeing. Unfortunately for most of us, we will always be our own worst-critic. Relationships, friendships, work progression; self-critical thoughts can make us second guess our ability and worth in all of these areas. Continue reading “It is time to crucify the self critic.”

The disaster of getting inside your own head.

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I am sure we can all relate to this. Whether it’s insecurities which have built up as a direct consequence of our scrambled society, or perhaps due to previous exposer to a singular toxic perpetrator; self-criticism can cause undeniable havoc and internal conflict. The constant flux within our culture, alongside a concurrent addiction to unrealistic expectations has led to the manifestation of many young individuals feeling like they will never be good enough. Continue reading “The disaster of getting inside your own head.”

Don’t let the past dictate your future.

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Most of us understand that an upsetting childhood can affect our adult lives. Depending on the nature of the trauma and the resilience of the individual, resulting consequences can sometimes lead to misery, which often manifests itself through extended depression and anxiety. This is especially the case if no professional help is sought. Continue reading “Don’t let the past dictate your future.”

The art of creating problems that do not exist.

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Overthinking. We all do it. We all try our best to stay positive and remain optimistic. Occasionally however, we fall through a trapdoor infested with negativity that all too frequently emerges beneath our feet. That persistent obsession to worry about, and over-analyse past experiences – experiences, by the way, that we can’t just miraculously eradicate from existence. Current stresses on the other hand, we CAN adapt for. Nevertheless, we still read into things that just aren’t there. If you often find yourself doing this, psychologists refer to you as a ruminator, or overthinker. My defining example of this would be the stereotypical ‘first date’ scenario – and due to its relevance, I will use myself as an example. Continue reading “The art of creating problems that do not exist.”

Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.

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It’s kind of a rule of thumb for me to self-doubt going into any kind of project. I always think that I shouldn’t be doing it and I don’t know how to do it and I’m going to fail and that I fooled them. I always try to find a way out.’ – Heath Ledger.

Self-doubt is debilitating, and it effects everyone. From Oscar winning actors to promising young students. It is one of the major obstacles that inhibits us from living the life we truly deserve. An unbearable weight to bear; soul destroying, and ambition denying.

Our emotional growth, then, appears to be retrograde: shrivelling as we age. Let us put this into perspective for a second. As children, whilst learning how to walk, whether we fell 10, 100 or 1000 times, self-doubt never crept into our minds. Why then, do we now consistently believe we are trying to be something that we are not destined to be? Continue reading “Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”